I've been reading through the life of Jacob in my devotional time these past few days. I have found myself so very comforted and challenged by what I've found, and just wanted to take a minute to post them. We are, afterall, viewing this as an excellent opportunity to share what God is doing in our lives as we take each step. Which is where this all begins...
I tend to be the kind of guy who has absolutely no doubts that God can provide in any circumstance and at any time, but finds it hard to believe if I can't see exactly
how He will provide. For example, we have debt that we truly believe we need to have paid off in full before we begin the adoption process. Still believe that. However, I had a "plan" on exactly how that would look: I would get a job, we would have a garage sale, we would cut back and budget and on and on, all to get us in the position to see God work in a mighty way and provide the funds for this adoption. We, afterall, did cause the debt we are in. But what if I'm failing to see God work
now? What if this is all bigger than I had thought to begin with?
Then I come to Jacob. Here's a guy who's cheated his way through his youth to gain what God had already promised him. He made alot of bad choices and caused himself alot of grief. He ended up with all God had promised him plus a vengeful brother that wanted to kill him. So he ran.
He finds his uncle Laban, falls in love, and begins a 20 year cycle of getting his just desserts. And yet, God blesses him. He has a huge family. He has a huge flock. He prospers personally, and prospers Laban as well. Until he gets more than his uncle and begins to fear a reprisal from him. Again, he tries to make the right choices. He follows God's leading, and yet things didn't always turn out the way he wanted them to. So he ran. Back home. Right where God had wanted him all along and right where God commanded him to go.
All through the process God is at work. Jacob begins to see that all he has gained is because of God's hand in his life. He begins to call on God for guidance, and even begins to follow God's leading in his life. God tells him to go home, and that He will protect him. This is not a new promise! He'd been telling Jacob this for over 20 years! Just now, Jacob finally begins to believe Him.
You may ask how. Doesn't he doubt God at every step? Doesn't he ask God to protect him even after God has already promised that very thing? Doesn't he make his own plans on how he'll escape if God doesn't keep His end of the bargain as he returns to his brother Esau? Yes. But I think we tend to overlook the most important part of this example that was written for you and I:
Jacob took the steps. Yes, he doubted God and he called out to Him in his fear. Yes, he made his own plans, in case God changed His mind as Jacob obediently went home. How are we in our day to day dealings with God any different?
And so, here am I. God is working this gracious opportunity in our lives, and I'm doubting Him. I've got my plans on how I'll meet the cost, just in case God changes His mind, or fails to meet His side of the bargain. Within 4 days of us making this known to family, God provides payment for almost half of our debt without us even asking, or planning, or working. We worked a garage sale. Made $140. That's more than we've ever made in a garage sale, but not stellar. We worked our plan, much as Jacob did, and as God blessed Jacob, He blessed us. How much more had we "let go and let God?" And yet, as we take steps in obedience to Him, He still works. Still provides. Still teaches.
I think we all can gain alot from this example in Jacob's life. It doesn't matter how often we fail to recognize His faithfulness to us. Just matters that we do and give Him the glory when we do. It doesn't matter how often we doubt Him. Just matters that we take the steps in obedience to prove Him right and our doubts unfounded. God is good. We just need to taste and prove it.
~Kevin
